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Before the Sun Sets

Rinsing the germs from my hands, I look up in the mirror;
My tiny face resembles mother's dull look when she takes off her bangles.
Once again she calls for me; my help is required in the preparations of the wedding
Her eyes bulge out on seeing me, as if I'm bhaiya's red-marked notebooks, 'bad girl'!
She slaps off the dust from my clothes, and places the heavy tray of snacks into my little hands.

Careful steps, steady hands, I balance the tray and bow in front of all the guests, offering them snacks. 'Her mother's shadow', 'smart girl', 'grown up', they comment, while I smile politely
'Anjali!' mother calls- and I seek comfort like birds searching for home in concrete jungles
With a pat on my head, she makes me sit with the big girls; they’re making designs on each other's hands with henna.

'Oh, Anjali is finally here!' the girls squeal. I'm next in the queue to get my hands tattooed with henna
'Wow, your color has turned out to be so dark- Madhur is a lucky man!' the girls exclaim while looking at my sister's hands
Outside, I watch my brother holding the football in his arms casually- his conscience unbothered by the apprehension of his name being called any second.

While my hands are being beautifully decorated in flower patterns, I watch my brother play by his rules. Something about the sight is deeply unsettling. The sun will be setting in about an hour. My hands tremble with desperation. 'Keep it still, you'll ruin it!'
And I snatch my hand away from their grip and hurry out the hall.
Rinsing the germs off my hands, I run outside and don't look back.

-Bheenee Sharda

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